Saturday, August 21, 2010

Thanks To The Han Dynasty, The Bard and Pele's Great Expression

Turn on, tune in and drop out class, Footie 101 is in session.

Many of you have probably wondered where the lecturing has gone, as the Footie Prof has spent most of the time bringing you up to speed on vital current events in the footie world. So today I lecture. But I want to open future lecture topics up to suggestions from you - the class. So if you think of a LEGITIMATE subject you’d like to see the Footie Professor slide tackle, please leave a comment, or sent a note to: thefootieprofessor@gmail.com.

Today’s lecture will be a not-so-quick history lesson on the origins of our beloved game. If you don’t have the time, you may want to come back to this post when you do. If you do have time, grab some munchies and plentiful beverages… I’m about to drop some footie knowledge!

Class, it’s first important to note that ball games date back at least 3,000 years. In pre-Columbian Meso-America, the Aztecs played a game called Ulama – though the game was played primarily with the hips and scoring was done in a wall-mounted hoop, similar to basketball.

Unfortunately the losing team captain is believed to have been sacrificed, not unlike French World Cup Captain Patrice Evra and Le Sulk himself Nicolas Anelka… The courts where these life-and-death matches were contested still spot the landscape of Mexico today.

A more direct (and FIFA recognized) origin comes from 206 BC China, where both men and women in the Han Dynasty were known to play a game called Cuju (literally “kick ball”). Then, as now, the ball was made of panels of leather sewn together. It was inflated with hair and other soft fillings rather than air. A variation of the game called Kemari was later documented in Japan. It’s still played ceremonially today.

How this ancient Chinese practice found its way to Europe is unknown, but let’s remember that trade between Asia and Europe via the “Silk Road” dates back to (you guessed it) the Han Dynasty.

Next up, the Greeks and Romans (who both traded with Asia) were strong proponents of games. The Greeks, the earlier of the two civilizations, played a game called Episkyros, while the Roman incarnation was called Harpastum, but both were ball carrying games.

While trading in Asia, both the Greeks (roughly 200-86 BC) and Romans (753 BC-476 AD) also interacted with Western Europe. At its height, the Roman Empire encompassed modern Britain and even gave it the name “Britannia.” The Latin version of the name was coined by the ancient Greek Pytheas around 320 BC – Han Dynasty anyone?

The ancient Roman era marked a high point in European civilization and culture, and Rome used its extensive knowledge – partially cobbled together from previous great civilizations such as the Egyptians – wherever its empire reached. When the empire fell, portions continued to function in Central Europe as the Holy Roman Empire and in Eastern Europe, as the Byzantine Empire, but Western Europe descended into what is commonly known as The Dark Ages – 400s-700s AD.

This period is marked by a massive technological, sociological, economic, and cultural devolution of European society. Imagine the US, Canadian and Mexican governments dissolving and North America regressing back to the knowledge and reality of 1700s – more like the 1400s. Think that Lexus would be replaced by horse? My friend, you’d be walking!


If you’re thinking the Dark Ages were knights in shining armor, you’re wrong. This is the period before medieval nobility. Europeans essentially went from having running water in their homes to not even knowing to boil water to purify it. Water was so contaminated then from people using rivers and ponds as their toilets and garbage heaps, that the only thing considered safe to drink was beer and wine.

There were few actual cities in Western Europe then. Most people – peasants – lived in small communities in the countryside. They lived off what they could grow and scavenge.

This era lasted until the Middle Ages, roughly the 800s-1300s, which encompasses the Classical, Medieval, and Modern period. Next came the rapid technological, cultural and social advancement called the Renaissance, which ran roughly from the 1300-1600s. It was during this period that the British Empire emerges and the first records in England appear citing a game that is the direct predecessor of modern football.

Through it all, some form of pre-modern football was being played throughout Europe. It’s not too much of a stretch to assume that some form of the Roman ball game continued to be practiced into the Renaissance.

After all, it’s a pretty simple concept. Two opposing groups of people kick a ball into opposing goals. Even the poorest of people can find resources to play this game. And living in rural England during the Dark and Middle Ages… you were PPPPoooooooooe! People worked for their daily sustenance from sunup to sundown. The average life expectancy was 40. And the game was as rough as life was then.

A competition known as Shrovetide Football was played in Britain as early as the 1100s. Still played today, it occurs annually on Shrove Tuesday and Ash Wednesday in the town of Ashbourne in Derbyshire, England. A popular theory of its origin suggests the ghoulish notion that the ball was originally a severed head tossed into the waiting crowd following an execution.

Shrovetide is believed to be a more ritualized occurrence of Mob Football, which emerged during the Middle Ages (some believe the game began as early as the 700s) and typically took place between neighboring villages and towns. Looking more like a riot than a game, Mob Football was characterized by an unlimited number of players and few, if any, rules.

The violent matches eventually became so popular that they distracted peasants from practicing archery - peasants were often drafted involuntarily to fight for the crown and their primary weapon was the bow and arrow. King Edward II (1308-1327) eventually had enough and tried to squash Mob Football. He passed laws that promised imprisonment for anyone playing the game.

“For as much as there is a great noise in the city caused by hustling over large balls, from which many evils may arise, which God forbid, we command and forbid on behalf of the King, on pain of imprisonment, such game to be used in the city future.”

By then, European cities had started to grow again, and the emerging industry of those cities was threatened by workers distracted by football – not to mention the destruction the game would reap in the smaller, confined spaces of a city. Edward II’s prohibition of “hustling of large balls” was also an attempt to protect local merchants. His decree was followed by similar actions by English kings Edward III, Henry IV, Henry VI, and James III of Scotland.

Laws failed to stem rural and city football, so by 1681, the crown relented and sanctioned its practice. This took place as the British Empire was continuing to expand, which ironically lent to the continued growth of footballs’ popularity. During this time it was even introduced into English public schools in order to keep young boys orderly and fit.

Though there were other popular sports in Britain, football was the game of the common man during the Industrial Revolution (1700s-1800s). Life of common people changed significantly during this time from daily rural labor for livelihood, to factory work that sometimes left workers with surplus time and money.

They usually worked every weekday, a half day Saturday and had Sunday off- but Sunday was for church. This revolutionary change in daily life introduced the first glimpses of leisure time to working class people. Football became an inexpensive practice and even spectator activity to blow off steam and be entertained. Many workers guilds were the impetus to the creation of football clubs still operating today.

And as British sailors, preachers, adventurers, and speculators took to the seas to spread empire, they often took the little round ball with them, acting as much as missionaries of the game as for God, or country. It is often said that English vicars (priests), arriving in the faraway colonies often left their ships with a bible in one hand and a football in the other.

Back home, by Britain’s Victorian Era (1837-1901), football was fully integrated into the ethos of the nation. Muscular Christianity, the notion that one’s physical masculinity brought them closer to God, helped solidify football in the mid 1800s along with the YMCA movement. Together, they took root in the United States a century later.

The mixture of football, empire and Muscular Christianity was so powerful, the effects are still being felt today. Though English sailors are known to have played the game in Brazil as early as 1874, Sao Paulo-born Englishman (and one-time Southampton player) Charles Miller is credited with introducing the game to Brazil. He left Brazil to study in England, but returned in the 1890s with two footballs and pushed workers of the London Bank and Railway Administration to organize teams.

Little more than a century later, Brazil is the most successful and celebrated footballing nation on the planet, having won five world championships. Miller is worshiped there as the “father” of their football.

It should be noted that variations of ball games were also being played in other parts of Europe through the Dark and Middle Ages and into the Renaissance (Italy for example). But England must be credited with formalizing the game that we all love today.

Even into the England of the 1800s, footie clubs had their own rules (which sometimes included use of hands and even carrying the ball), so each time a match took place, rules for that match had to be negotiated.

The first step toward standard rules in England came in 1862 when 12 London clubs met for that purpose. On Oct. 26, 1863, they formed The Football Association in London’s still-standing Freemasons' Tavern. By December, the organization still known as The FA today had agreed upon the original set of 13 comprehensive rules.

The founding clubs present at the first 1862 meeting were: Barnes, Civil Service, Blackheath, Blackheath Proprietary School, Crusaders, the original Crystal Palace, Forest of Leytonstone (later to become Wanderers), Kensington School, N.N. (No Names) Club (of Kilburn), Percival House (of Blackheath), and Surbiton. Charterhouse sent their captain, B.F. Hartshorne, but declined the offer to join.

Many of these clubs are now defunct. Others still play rugby, which split from association football at the final December 1863 meeting when the first FA treasurer, the representative from Blackheath, withdrew his club over the removal of two draft rules: one allowing running with the ball in hand, and the other obstructing tripping, holding and kicking opponents in the shins.

Other English rugby football clubs followed suit and didn’t join the FA, or left the FA and formed the Rugby Football Union in 1871. Coincidentally, the word “Soccer,” which we Yanks generally use to describe official football, is actually an English word! When the rugby lads broke away from the FA, official footballing people came up with soccer to distinguish official football from football rugby.

Literally soccer is a play on the word “Association or its abbreviation “Assoc” of Association Football. Drop the “A” from Assoc and add an “er” at the end, and you have the word “Soccer.” Take that you Imperialist Yorkshire Pudding Eating wankers.. I take that back. I like Yorkshire Pudding.

And at the risk of alienating my “Amuruken” readership, you should know that rugby is of course the father of American football – making the original football the grandfather of American football.

Ever wonder why a touchdown is called a touchdown, even though American football players don’t have to touch the ball down to score? Look no further than rugby, where the practice of touching the ball down after crossing the opponent’s goal line – or a “try” – is still practiced today.

Fellow Americans… don’t get me started on baseball’s cricket origins!

And for the record, original football has a long history in North America. When the Pilgrims arrived in North America in the 1600s, they noticed the native people playing a game called Pasuckaukohowog, which literally means “they gather to play ball with the foot.” By 1862, Oneida Club, the United States’ first official football club, was formed in Boston. A monument reportedly now stands on the Boston Common, where the Oneidas played home matches.

I’ve not seen it, but I understand there is a photograph in The National Soccer Hall of Fame and Museum (in Oneonta, N.Y.) of Civil War soldiers playing football (the original football) after a battle.

Back to the laws of the game, they’re determined by the International Football Association Board (IFAB), formed in 1886. Readers of this blog may recognize this as the organization that current FIFA King Sepp Blatter has said will consider integrating goal-line technology to help improve match officiating. I’ll believe it when I see it.

FIFA, the international football governing body, was formed in Paris in 1904 and had representatives admitted to the IFAB in 1913. The IFAB is now made up of four representatives from FIFA and one representative from each of the four British associations. Why? Despite dismantling their own empire, the English still feel they run everything. After all, at its peak, Britain was the most expansive empire in human history. It was so big, the sun never set on it!

But in 1872, Scotland cast an intuitive shadow on English football. That’s when the first official international football match took place in between Scotland and England in Glasgow. This match, which ended in a 0-0 draw, is credited with featuring the greatest evolution in the game's history.

At the time English football looked essentially like five-year-olds were playing. When one player had the ball, they’d advance up field until most of the opposition was upon them. They’d then hoof the ball far up field in hopes that a teammate would be able to take possession. This long ball tactic is sadly still the common style of English football.

But at that crucial 1872 match, the Scots….. (drum roll please)… PASSED THE BALL TO EACH OTHER!

The Scottish run and pass tactic shredded the English and was then heralded as the “combination game.”

It would later be expanded upon by the dominant Hungarian team of the 1950s known as the “Mighty Magyars” featuring Ferenc Puskas, the Brazilians of the late 50s and early 60s featuring Pele and Garrincha, the Dutch in the 70s with Johan Cruyff and “Total Football,” and now the current world and European champion Spain – which learned to play beautifully from Cruyff.

It’s important to note that although Pele is generally considered the greatest player of all time (I promise to revisit this debate at a later date), most Brazilians say Garrincha is the greatest Brazilian player of all time. Hmmm. Still, Pele first described football as Jogo Bonito, or “The Beautiful Game.” Who can’t appreciate that?!?


And even with all its flaws (and there are flaws aplenty), because it’s so beautiful, football remains wildly popular today. All you need is a ball (or a reasonable facsimile).
 
It’s better played with others, but you can play it by yourself. You don’t need money, equipment, or lots of space – just you and the ball. Same as it ever was.
And now for your special historic lecture footie anecdote:

The game was so popular in England that William Shakespeare was sprung. The Bard featured it in his play “The Comedy of Errors,” written sometime in the 1590s.

“Am I so round with you as you with me,
That like a football you do spurn me thus?
You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither:
If I last in this service, you must case me in leather.”

CLASS DISMISSED

Monday, August 16, 2010

Cocaine Chic at the Hotel Moscow

Well, well... well class, jump in the hot tub with the Godfather of Soul cause it's time for Footie 101!

The European club season kicked off Saturday with the English Premier League. Champions Chump$ki showed how they won the league last season by thrashing newly promoted lightweights West Bromwich Albion 6-0. West Brom is just good enough to have played in the Premiership three seasons since 2000, but just bad enough to never stay longer than two seasons. Walk out on the street and you’ll hear Chump$ki supporters crowing like they’ve already won the league – by beating up on West Brom.

On the other end of the scale was the invigorating performance by newly promoted minnows Blackpool, which spanked Wigan 4-0 - at Wigan. Now, Wigan is far from a powerhouse, but Blackpool is so tiny that its players had to wash their own uniforms last season. So here’s an extra big Big Up to everyone’s favorite new small-fry. Barring getting any points from our respective clubs, let’s all join in and hope this tiniest of tiny clubs can stay up this season.

Elsewhere, Aston Villa manager Martin O’Neill resigned days before the season kicked off – apparently angered that club owner Randy Lerner (who also owns the NFL’s Cleveland Browns) wouldn’t spend money on acquiring more players. O’Neill is considered one of the young bright lights in British football management, but apparently didn’t get the right kind of fire truck for Christmas as a child, and is now highly susceptible to throwing temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way.

Immediately, rumors began circulating that US national team manager Bob Bradley was a favorite for the gig. US Soccer squashed that rumor straight away. Funny how fast a governing body can go from contemplating firing a manager, to desperately clinging to him.

Ever think seriously about breaking up with your significant other, and then plan an elaborate candle-lit dinner when you hear another suitor is sniffing around…? Yeah, just like that.

Now Villa, which is loaded with great young English talent, took all the discord in stride and housed West Ham 3-0 Saturday. You’d think that would calm things down a bit, but when things seem like they’re turning a corner to stability, there is one man in world football that can take that calm and turn it into chaos. (Drumroll please...) Yes, class, it’s “Return of the Maradona!”


"If the owner Randy Lerner wants to make him a serious offer, I am sure he would get a very positive response.”
Lerner, who is widely considered the prototypical American owner of an English football club because he balances the books and gets results on the pitch, is no fool.

Said Lerner: “My milkshake brings all the fools to the club, fools to the club, fools to the club.” Those cackles you hear echoing from the air are Lerner’s guffaws showering down from his G4 jet as it crosses the Atlantic.


On the international footie front, the FIFA committee visiting countries bidding to host the 2018 and 2022 world cups arrived in Russia this morning. Awaiting them as they exited their plane were cases of vodka, fresh Beluga caviar, and keys to five star hotel suites containing coked-out 13-year-old virgin sex slaves chained to a radiator.

You may expect me to somehow tie this suggestion to my well-documented disdain for Chump$ki owner and perennial baby seal soul-sucker Roman Abramovich, BUT YOU'D BE WRONG! Russian Prime Minister Vladamir Putin, whose lobbying is widely credited with luring the 2014 Winter Olympics to Sochi on the Black Sea, is the boogie man of this dream sequence.

Moments after Harry Been, CEO of the Holland-Belgium World Cup bid, described the Russian bid as “dangerous,” he was suddenly consumed by a sinister cloud of red smoke. A voice was heard emanating from the post-Soviet confilagration saying: “Iz dis dangerous enuff fir you, you vooden-shuwd monk, Da?!?” The pungent smell of vodka and caviar still lingers.

The remaining site visit schedule is:

Aug. 23-26: Britain
Aug. 30-Sept. 2: Spain and Portugal
Sept. 6-9: the United States
Sept. 13-17: Qatar

Speaking of the US bid, there remains a vibrant effort to reach 1 million registered supporters on the bid website. At last count this morning there were 962,227 registered supporters of the US bid – led again by Houston, where nearly 72,000 supporters have chimmed in. Houston will be the last stop when the FIFA committee visits the states. They'll quickly learn that you don't mess with Texas!

Meanwhile, bidding insiders are pointing at the England bid and laughing hysterically. British Prime Minister David Cameron has called FIFA King Sepp Blatter to say he will not be present to greet the site committee when it arrives next week. Cameron’s trivial excuse: His wife is near birth. King Blatter was heard to murmer: “Meh,” but insiders consider Cameron’s absence a serious snub and damaging to the already tumultuous bid from the nation that created the modern game.

The King has also gone on record to taunt the world over the goal-line technology he won't provide. Speaking last week at the Youth Olympics in Singapore, King Blatter said:

“My personal opinion on goal technology has never changed. If we have an accurate and simple system then we will implement, but so far we have not had a simple nor an accurate system."

He immediately added with a cheeky grin: “I got simple, right here!”

Sweden, however, is willing to risk the ire of his majesty by requesting that FIFA allow their referees to use live TV as an officiating aide in the Swedish football league this season. Said Swedish Football Association Chairman Lars-Ake Lagrell:

“We think that it (goal-line technology) is a worse alternative than simply giving the fourth official the possibility to look at the TV pictures. With that (use of the live television pictures), you have a team of officials who referee the game exactly as it is today, but this way they get something to help them.”

In keeping with controversial statements in this blog being immediately punished, Lars was promptly swooped from his Volvo convertible by a ravenous pterodactyl, never to be seen again.

His three widows – as allowed by Swedish law (in my dreams) – emulated lionesses who’ve had their cubs slaughtered by marauding males, and immediately went into estrus.

Again, King Blatter muttered “Meh,” but then shocked the world by suggesting that he may abolish first round draws in time for the 2014 World Cup to encourage attacking play. The Footie Prof says: Play on player!

Not in need of fostering attacking play is Der Deutscher Fußball-Bund (German Football Association), which oversees Europe’s highest attended top flight league – the Bundesliga. Flush with cash from new television and marketing deals, and buoyed by balanced books, the Bundesliga can afford to keep its top stars and even recruit others without breaking the bank.

Though the transfer window is still open till the end of the month, nearly all top German stars from the World Cup - Arjen Robben, Edin Dzeko and Mesut Ozil - have rejected opportunities to transfer to other leagues. (UPDATE: Ozil has signed for Real Madrid) And others such as German Michael Ballack and Spaniard Raul have returned or transferred in.
Reflective of that wealth, 2009-10 UEFA Champions League runner-up Bayern München expects a 2009-10 turnover of about $450 million from its stadium alone. Double Prost!

Lastly, another big Big Up to the MLS, the New York Red Bulls and new signing Thierry Henry. This combo has spiked attendances and raised the performance at matches so much that whenever the Red Bulls play, new attendance records are set.

Saturday, a capacity 25,000 people packed into the new Red Bulls Arena to watch the Los Angeles Galaxy win 1-0. Among the luminaries at the star-studded bi-coastal fete were NBA Frenchman Tony Parker and his wife, some random chic nobody's ever heard of. Even injured Galaxy star David Beckham was in the house.

The previous week the Red Bulls visit to the Chicago Fire promoted a record 21,868 attendance at Toyota Park for that 0-0 draw. The lesson for today class: If you field quality, they will come.

A quick shout out to fellow blogger “We Like Tea.” If you dig your Earl Grays, Jasmines, herbals, or Darjeelings, this is the blog for you.

And now, your footie anecdote:

“I'm like any Brazilian: I like women and I like to go out and enjoy myself, which is why people can identify with me. The night has always been my friend. When I go out I feel good, then I always score goals.”
     --- Former Brazilian Striking Impresario Romario on his fondness for nightlife

CLASS DISMISSED

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Dolce, Diego and Thuggish FC

Hide your wives, daughters and $200,000 sports cars class, The Footie Professor is back. And that can only mean it’s time again for … Footie 101.

First, a heart-felt apology for being away for so long, but The FP had to work on working. Besides, there hasn’t been any earth-shattering footie news, so you haven’t really missed much. During this down time between the World Cup and club season (also known as the Silly Season) the “news” has mostly been wild transfer rumors made up by “journalists” fictionalizing to keep their jobs. Better to know nothing than to fill your head full of crap, I say.

That said, the class’ old friend, defrocked Argentine Coach Diego Maradona, couldn’t just leave the stage gracefully after getting axed. Like countless underperforming coaches before him, (I’m talking to you Jar-Jar Domenech!) Diego showed his lack of class when he was shown the door.

You see Diego could have kept his job, but he wanted to keep his phat coaching staff and their phatter salaries. Argentinean Football “Jefes” Julio Grondona and Carlos Bilardo told him to cut back. Indignant as always, Diego refused and his contract was not renewed.

In typically grandstanding manor, Diego accused the duo of deception.

“Grondona lied to me. Bilardo betrayed me,” Diego said. “When we were in mourning, Bilardo was working in the shadows to get me fired.”
After stirring up dissent among the Argentine public – among whom Diego is worshiped (no exaggeration) as a god – Diego was able to get Bilardo to back down a bit. Bilardo was quoted yesterday saying that Diego can have his job back if he talks to Grondona… and cut his staff. Soooooo the Argentina footie freak show continues.

Here's another post-WC story that the The Footie Prof predicted! Check out the punitive measures heaped upon the North Korean team and its coach for not winning the World Cup - despite being ranked 103 in the world, and only making its second ever WC appearance (1966). The team, which finished the cup without a point, were reportedly berated for six hours on a stage in front of 400 officials. Then the players were forced to publicly criticize the manager before he was summarily shipped off to an:

A) Work camp B) Chain gang C) Construction crew D) All of the above

Beyond the tyrannical musings of Dear Leader Kim Jong-il and his progeny, I blame Portugal for the N. Korean players and coach's harsh punishment. You see the N. Korean team had a very respectful opening 2-1 performance against cup favorite Brazil. That raised hopes back home so much that Dear Leader sanctioned the extremely rare live broadcast of the next match against Portugal.

If you go back and watch the Brazil-N. Korea match, you’ll see how deferential the Brazilian players were to the N. Koreans. Having emerged from a lengthy dictatorship just 30 years ago themselves, Brazilians know that sport performances can mean life or death in a dictatorial nation. Even Pele – the greatest player of all time – was subjected to this. When top European clubs came calling for him in 1961, Brazilian Dictator Janio Quadros declared Pele a “national treasure,” and outlawed his exportation.

But Portugal, the Brazilian’s former colonizers, didn’t show the same character as their former subjects, and in true imperialist fashion hammered N. Korea 7-0 in that live broadcast. For me, the Portuguese (preening Muppets that they are) have blood on their hands.

Portuguese winger Anderson (who didn’t actually play at the WC because of injury), felt so much guilt that he crashed his $200,000 Audi R8 sports car early Saturday morning. Anderson could have literally been toasting em up as the N. Koreans were being dressed down and shipped off to labor camps. Ahhh, the symmetry of the Beautiful Game.

In other post-WC news, sponsors of the French national team have reached an out of court settlement to receive about $1.5 million in compensation. They'll be paid by the French Football Federation for the embarrassment of their brands being associated with the team’s shameful display at the World Cup. Adidas has already recouped about $2.2 million from the French. Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris, you ask? Ze Germans like to get paid in the shade!

In a more promising sign for the future of French football, I offer quick but hearty felicitations to the French U-19 team, which beat Spain 2-1 in the UEFA U-19 Championship Friday. And an equally stout “glückwünsche” to Germany, which claimed the FIFA U-20 Women’s World Cup Sunday.

Meanwhile, the FIFA site visits to nations bidding to host the 2018 and 2022 WC’s has begun. The FIFA committee has already run the rule over Nippon (that’s Japan to those that don’t know!) and Australia. The Aussies are a bit lucky because they were being investigated for plying FIFA wives with jewelry, but were cleared before their site inspection. Still, there is no joy in Oz-ville, as the president of their continental federation has publicly dissed them to support the Qatar bid. Said Asian Football Confederation President Mohammad Bin Hammam: “That’s not a bid…. That’s a bid.”


The remaining site inspections schedule is:

Aug. 9-12: Netherlands and Belgium
Aug. 16-19: Russia
Aug. 23-26: Britain
Aug. 30-Sept. 2: Spain and Portugal
Sept. 6-9: the United States
Sept. 13-17: Qatar

Here's another quick list for you containing the three remaining MLS friendlies with European super clubs – all broadcast live on Fox Soccer Channel (the best footie broadcaster in N. America).

Aug 5 - 9PM FC Dallas vs Inter Milan
Aug 6 - 8PM AC Milan vs Panathinaikos Athens
Aug 7 - 10:30PM Los Angeles Galaxy vs Real Madrid

Meanwhile, ESPN (the worldwide leader in American sports) is negotiating with Fox for a sublicense to broadcast some of the Barclays English Premier League matches through 2013. ESPN reached a similar agreement with Fox last season and tended to air the early Saturday and Sunday morning matches on ESPN2. Reportedly, it wants to add some mid-week matches to the deal. If Fox does sublicense again to ESPN, I hope they gouge them for every penny.... and make them air a weekly promo showing Alexis Lalas spit-shinning Shaka Hislop's Stacey Adams.

And speaking of better players, a quick welcome to Mexican defender Rafael Marquez, who has left Barcelona FC to join former Barca teammate Thierry Henry at MLS’ New York Red Bulls! Bienvenido Rafael! I smell an MLS cup coming to the Big Apple...

Even though Marquez and Henry have left Europe, there’s still footie news there! The International Football Association Board (IFAB) is actually moving ahead of FIFA to improve the officiating of matches (anticipatory gasp). The IFAB, which determines the laws of the game, IS… adding two more referees to UEFA Champions League matches (deflated sigh of disappointment). And in the distant vista of the setting sun is FIFA King Sepp Blatter’s promise to introduce goal-line technology…

More promising is the news that UEFA will require all European clubs to have a Supporter Liaison Officer (SLO) starting with the 2012-2013 season. The move is intended to reflect the importance UEFA has placed on fan relations. The Footie Prof applauds UEFA for this and hopes to see UEFA SLO’s going global. Imagine there being a Werder Bremen SLO in the United States, or a Bordeaux SLO in Canada. Suddenly Carabana just got Mo Better!


And there’s this multicultural tidbit that ze Germans have come to an understanding with Muslim groups that will allow professional Muslim footie players to break their fast during the holy Islamic month of Ramadan. You see, Turks are the largest ethnic minority in Deutschland and 99% of Turks are Muslim.

Among the players that took Germany to its’ second straight third place WC finish are German Turk Muslim midfielder Mesut Özil and defender Serdar Tasci. PROST to ze Germans for doing a better job of integrating their immigrants than France (whoa Nelly!) and even the good ole US of A.

And finally, Forbes has identified Manchester United as the wealthiest sport team in the world. Does wealth cometh before a fall? Ask the MLS All-Stars. At least the attendance (70,728) at the All-Star game was good. It reportedly is the fourth largest turnout for an all-star game in any American pro sport. Kudos to the MLS!

With that, it’s time for you footie anecdote…

Italian fashion house Dolce & Gabbana have agreed to design the official club suits to be worn by players and the manager of Chel$ki FC. Regular readers of The Footie Prof know I’ve often been hard on Chel$ki, its baby seal soul-sucking owner, and its’ thuggish players and fans. So you may be shocked and amazed that I bless this union. Thuggish footballers should be attired in thuggish haute couture. If you’re doubting D&G’s gangster credentials, even the Italian government has been after them for tax evasion! I wonder who’ll pay up first… D&G, or Diego? And now the circle is complete.



CLASS DISMISSED