Torn Between Two Lovers

I'm in a melancholy mood today class, plus I've had three hours sleep, so there'll be a brief class today of Footie 101.

First, the Prof has been travelling for the past few days and has noticed one very disturbing fact... American breeders allow their toddler males to run riot over their lives. From airport to airport, boys aged 2-5 threw tantrums, harassed and harangued their mothers. Sadly, those mothers accepted and even encouraged the behavior. What troubled me most was that these parents have no idea just exactly what kind of smart-assed, arrogant, self-obsessed "men" they're raising. Let us move heaven and earth to prevent any further preening egoists from being procreated lest more of this is spawned.

Today and tomorrow we see less-spoiled preening egoists battle it out in the quarter finals of the World Cup. First the Netherlands take on Brazil and then Uruguay face Ghana. Tomorrow it’s Argentina squaring off with Germany and Paraguay calling out Spain. For those not counting, that's three European teams to the four South American sides... plus one African nation for desert.

Of all these matches, this morning's match between the wooden shoed windmill-makers and the samba kings stands out in a disturbingly horrendous way. How can anyone choose...

This does not help...

The tasty match on Saturday, well, Diego makes that easy. Some famous poet once wrote... (or was it a note from Jack the Ripper): Pride cometh before a fall. How do you say Geronimo in Spanish...? Oh, right! El Herrrrrronimooooooo!

In other footie news, Nigeria has entered the "Nation that FIFA Hates the Most" contest by one-upping France's presidential interventions with a full-fledged two year suspension of national team activities. FIFA King Sepp Blatter - never pleased when even an iota of his authority is challenged - was not amused.

The King is keeping busy, as Australia have entered the "Hate Me" contest by tossing deadly mini-jellyfish at him during a news conference. Apparently in the Aussie bid to host the 2022 World Cup, the football heavies from Oz gave expensive jewelry to the wives of FIFA executives. Someone Down Under apparently didn't realize that tributes go to Sepp and only Sepp. Blatter don't Play dat!

I said this would be a short class, right? So short it is!

Netherlands-Brazil (1-2): I'm already crying and will continue to cry. The Footie Gods were cruel with this matchup. But the winner will win the World Cup!

Uruguay-Ghana (2-0): Uruguayans just don't give up goals in this tournament and the Ghanaians just don't score em in open play.

Argentina-Germany (0-1): Ozil will score the winner, then scurry past Argentine coach Diego Maradona during his goal celebration. In his mistaken belief that the Argentinean's coif is a hairpiece, Ozil will tear it from his skull, giving spontaneous birth to a new Argentina hair style sensation - the reverse mowhawk.

Paraguay-Spain: (0-3): After the third goal, unused Spanish sub Cesc Fabregas will troll the touchline with a giant vat of paella. Asked why afterwards the midfielder said: "That was the closest I'll get to the pitch."

And now your footie anecdote:

World's greatest footballer Pele has reignited his neverending feud with Argentine legend Maradona. Asked by a German magazine how he rated Maradona's coaching, the Brazilian seized upon the opportunity: "He is not a good coach, because he had a bizarre lifestyle which cannot go down well with his team." He could have made it better by putting a finger to his nostril, making a snorting sound then winking.

CLASS DISMISSED