Mea Culpa Shell Game

This will have to be a brief lecture today as The Prof is travelling, so eyes front class and let’s get into Footie 101.

Hell hath frozen over… or at least we’ve been told that it will… sometime in the near, but ambiguous future. FIFA King Sepp Blatter has (thunderous heart pounding)… apologized! The King has acknowledged that the blown officiating calls in the Germany-England and Argentina-Mexico matches were unacceptable, apologized to the Brits and Mexicans for the blunders, and said goal-line technology will be explored at FIFA’s next International Football Association board meeting in July.

In Blatter’s news conference he cited the Mexican match specifically and was adamant that the only kind of technology that would be explored would be goal-line technology. Interesting…. Since the offsides call that allowed a dubious Argentina goal against Mexico to stand had absolutely nothing to do with whether the ball crossed the goal-line or not.

I suspect that ole King Sepp is pulling a shell game mea culpa. He’ll say that FIFA will not allow such things to happen again and that they will explore their options vigorously at the meeting. By then, there’ll be several other story lines that will have captured public imagination and discussion of technology (goal-line or otherwise) will fade away like the wicked witch of the west.

Now, I’d love to see the introduction of technology to better officiate the game – as would many referees – but I just don’t see the King really making a change to the position he’s held and staunchly defended for years. Let’s hope that I’m as wrong about this as my predictions of World Cup matches have been. Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

In a mildly related story, a recent referee training session has confirmed clairvoyant statements made by The Footie Professor that “certain” World Cup referees had been banished to the Coulibaly from Mali Referee Vacation Resort and Spa – also known as N. Korea. Neither of the referees from the Argentina-Mexico or Germany-England match was present at the training session.

"They decided not to be here for personal reasons," said FIFA's head of refereeing Jose Maria Garcia-Aranda, adding: “Those personal reasons being that they’ve been assigned to the Sepp Blatter Re-Education Program. FIFA will have no further comment.”

When pressed by reporters about the absent officials, the spokesman said: “Officials!? What officials?”

The King also flexed his muscles this week, warning French President Nicolas Sarkozy to attend to breaking up underground Parisian cheese smuggling rings and leave the administration of the French Football Federation to the French Football Federation.

Said Sepp: “Definitely, I can tell you that political interference will be dealt with by FIFA. Watch me…”

You see, FIFA has a hard and fast rule that all national football associations shall not be interfered with by their governments. When that does happen (and the King decides to notice), the federation is suspended from sanctioned play for a period of time. And ever since the French stunk up the 2010 World Cup like a giant block of Limburger cheese, Sarkozy has been vocal about setting the FFF straight. He’s been in and out of the FFF so much that it thinks its Annabel Chong.

In other pimp, er, FIFA news, burglars broke into FIFA’s South African offices Sunday, stole seven replicas of the golden World Cup trophy…. and some sweaters. THIS JUST IN: Brazilian coach Dunga has been arrested and charged as the thieving bastard who defiled the FIFA offices. Asked why, the crew-cutted Carioca said: “We’ll get seven eventually, why not now!” Then, pressed on why he took the sweaters, he smiled broadly, leaned back in his jail cell and said:” Brasileiros don’t like to samba in the cold.”

Now out of a jail cell is Pavlos Joseph, the England supporter that strolled into the England team’s dressing room after their World Cup match against Algeria. Charges were dropped Tuesday after Joseph paid about $100 for an admission of guilt fine - although some say the team itself should be fined for its performances. With Joseph out of jail, the obligatory Englishman in jail slot now goes to the Sunday Mirror’s Simon Wright, who is accused of harboring Joseph.

That of course leaves the dog house, where Dutch striker Robin Van Persie spent the night after throwing a tantrum at being taken off 10 minutes before the end of the Netherlands-Slovakia match (2-1).

“I was very disappointed because I wanted to take advantage of the spaces being left at the back by the Slovaks in the final minutes,” said van Persie, an Arsenal striker who has scored just once in the four Dutch World Cup matches.

Netherlands coach Bert van Marwijk squashed the drama, but it was still shades of Netherland World Cups past, including the 1996 Euros when infighting and racial tension among the squad derailed a dream accumulation of talent.

And then there is Portuguese pretty boy Christiano Ronaldo, who should be under the jail after this reaction to losing to Spain (1-0). BTW, he did virtually nothing to stop the Spanish.

Lastly, there is this sad note. A Texas man has been charged with murder after punching his infant stepdaughter twice to quiet her during a World Cup match. Hector Castro, of McAllen, apparently broke her ribs. When he realized that he’d killed her, police say he put a screw in her mouth to suggest that she’d choked on it. This scum deserves the worst society has to offer. Just like in life, there is passion in football. That passion can be inspiring, or it can be idiotic. Then there is scum, and Hector is just that.

And now your footie anecdote:

The Footie Professor would like to welcome his first unknown follower - Ian_H. Ian marks the growth of the blog from ramblings among friends to the first step towards finding a broader audience. Cheers Ian!

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