As more and more bandwagoners have begun following the World Cup, I’ve increasingly heard complaints from my compatriots about the lack of consistent and accurate refereeing. I must say that I do and always have agreed with this sentiment. What’s the point in having a game unless you’re going to do everything in your power to follow the rules of that game? That said, I’ve repeatedly told the bandwagoners that inconsistent officiating and blown calls are a part of the culture of the game and that if you intend to follow this global sport, then you have to be part of (and accept) its culture.
I liken it to when you were a child and went to a neighboring kid’s yard to play. In that neighboring kid’s yard, playing with that neighboring kid’s ball, you played by that neighboring kid’s rules – whatever they were. If you didn’t like those rules, you left and played in some other kid’s yard, and by some other kid’s rules. And that’s essentially what our litigious and ubber-righteous American sensibilities must come to terms with. You don't see the American players or coach moaning about the poor refereeing decisions that went against them in the tournament. That’s because they are part of the culture of the game – the global culture – and accepted the situation.
Who’s moaned the most – why the English of course, who were pants by Ze Germans 4-1 Sunday. After that match, England supporters all round the world felt like they were having one of those dreams where they realized they were butt naked in the middle of a busy intersection – except it wasn’t dream. Their gripe was legitimate, however. Midfielder Frank Lampard’s shot bounced off the cross bar and nearly a yard inside the goal. Even if it had been given, Deutschland would still have embarrassed them. These types of calls are missed all the time, but until it went against the English, they were happy to largely continue with the status quo. However when it went against them, we were met by a cacophony of “THIS IS A DISGRACE!” and “THIS MUST CHANGE NOW.” Typical that the nation that gave us the modern game sat idly by until they were wronged. Where’s the leadership lads? Don’t look for it to come from the Football Association (The FA), which is so antiquated that it still has a figurehead president always drawn from the British royal family, and three seats designated for representatives of the royal army, air force and navy!
This is also a country that, when playing the freshly minted Nazi Germany in 1938, gave the Nazi salute in the pre-match national anthem ceremony.
If you’re looking for accountability, look no further than the bookies - leave it to FIFA to allow gamblers to hold the high moral ground. The top bookmakers are paying customers who bet on Lampard scoring against Germany. One gambling house spokesman Graham Sharpe said: "Even Sepp Blatter knows Lampard scored.” Sharpe (along with two innocent interns) was immediately banished to the Phantom Zone.
There’s an old English adage in the game that bad calls even out over time. Sometimes this evening out comes right away, and sometimes it takes years. Perhaps the English should have considered the old adage in 1966 when they “scored” a goal against Ze Germans that never crossed the line. That goal galvanized the English on their way to their first and only World Cup win. It’s been a long time coming, but suddenly Karma stings, eh England? Even Thierry Henry has all but acknowledged that his “Hand of Frog” hand ball that unfairly eliminated the Irish and allowed the French into this World Cup was likely the cause of the French implosion in the group stages.
Karma aside, until key leaders in the game (and I’m talkin bout the King here), decide that this type of controversy is bad for business, nothing will change. Here’s your big lesson of the day class: FIFA King Sepp Blatter was elected largely through African, South American and Asian support (most of the nations in FIFA and the world for that matter are nations of color). And his power base is maintained by this non-European coalition. If there is an outcry from Africa, South America and Asia for him to jump, the King will respond regally, but eagerly “how high?” However, cries of outrage from Europe (allo England!) will be met with a dismissively mute smile.
Now I’ve heard countless television pundits point to King Sepp and complain that he’s unwilling to even engage in discussing the introduction of technology to better officiate the game. And I warn these pundits to watch their tongues, lest they be removed taste bud by taste bud and served as a caviar-like delicacy to those change-consuming, ravenous, land-walking sharks… with lasers.
Back to results. Mexico was also wronged Sunday in its’ 1-3 loss to the Italians who speak Spanish. Argentina’s first goal should not have been allowed as Carlos Tevez was in an offsides position when Messi passed him the ball. Mexican players surrounded the referee (Italian by coincidence of course) and pointed to the stadium big screen, where the offsides was clearly being shown. The refs nervously averted their eyes in fear of being sent to FIFA’s new Coulibaly from Mali Referee Vacation Resort and Spa – located in an uncharted region of N. Korea. FIFA has since announced that it will crack down on its policy of not allowing replays in the stadium. In keeping with its Stone Age technology philosophy, FIFA commented on the replay being shown in the stadium (calling it “a clear mistake,”) but did not comment on the bad call itself.
Argentina coach Diego Maradona (who loves being in the blog by the way), said Tevez’s goal looked “absolutely normal” to him, but offered a word of condolence to the English, who he himself cheated in 1986 with a handball goal.
There was no cheating or poor officiating to blame in the USA’s Saturday match. They were simply beaten by Ghana (2-1)… AGAIN! US Coach Bob Bradley was forced to make an early change after realizing he got his tactics all wrong. The miscalculation led to Ghana walking through the US midfield with ease and eventually powering home a breakaway goal in the fifth minute. Bradley countered by taking off his second striker and bringing in another midfielder. The adjustment brought the US back into the game, eventually winning a penalty in the 62 minutes that leveled the match. The game went into extra time, but the inconsistent US defense allowed another breakaway goal (which US Captain Carlos Bocanegra gave up on) in the 93 minute and was never able to pull another back. It was an invigorating run, but like a coin-operated peep show, it was over too soon. I promise to revisit the state of US Soccer in the weeks to come.
In other news, King Sepp has miraculously escaped bribery charges from a Swiss court. The King had been accused of getting a kickback from a now-defunct company called ISL. The alleged payoff was supposed to have secured ISL’s contract to manage the broadcast rights of all FIFA events. In a rare act of transparency, FIFA released a statement after the King was cleared: “As the investigation and the case are now definitely closed, FIFA will make no further comment…….. HA!
In more domestic litigation, YouTube has been cleared of copyright infringement in a $1 billion lawsuit brought by Viacom and the English Premier League. Basically the judge ruled that YouTube is not liable for any copyright infringement of content posted on its site. Not only do I think the judge has this right, I think, Viacom, the EPL and even FIFA have this all wrong. FIFA has been pulling clips of World Cup goals off of YouTube like a compulsive gardener surrounded by spontaneously growing weeds. For me, these are clips after the matches are over and only serve to further foster interest in the game. You can watch the clips on FIFA’s website, why not YouTube?
Lastly, First Fiver, Face, will be happily gloating that my consistently wrong picks magically empowered Uruguay past the S. Koreans (2-1) Saturday. Face, you’ll be happy to know that I’m gonna pick against Uruguay again (see Wednesday picks). Even to me this seems a bit loony, as the South American teams have a staggering 6-1-4 record thus far in the tournament. The sole loss was Chile to cup favorites Spain. Meanwhile, Uruguay has conceded just one goal so far. Genious!
So here are your picks for today:
Netherlands-Slovakia (3-1): Waarom vliegen? Als je over water kunt lopen! (in the original Dutch)
Brazil-Chile (2-0): Though Brazil continue to look sluggish, Robinho’s return to the squad will be like hearing the first beat of samba in the morning
Paraguay-Japan (0-1): I drank with some Japanese Thursday. It was an omen. Kompai!
Spain-Portugal (2-1): Aided by an angry Kim Jong-Il, Spain will win the Battle of Iberia and then post Ronaldo's mobile phone number on El Twitter.
And now your footie anecdote:
Keeping up with its brethren, the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club, is refusing to allow any of the 1,500 people waiting in line for tickets to Wimbledon to leave their spot in line to watch World Cup matches. Apparently Wimbledon is jealous of the World Cup and is throwing a tantrum by forbidding any footie anywhere near the manicured courts. African vuvuzelas have also been banned.
A spokesman for the All England Club said: “It’s nothing to do with being vindictive. People have a choice: they can either queue or they can watch the football.” No vindictiveness there…
CLASS DISMISSED
Gary Lineker's words come to my mind, "Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans win."
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